Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Never Givin' Up - by 98 Degrees

After a few weeks of intense parenting I've been evaluating what kind of a parent I am.  Believe me I come up short to my hopes and expectations especially in comparison to the perfect parent God.
God has called Himself a Father.  "Daddy" (Abba) actually.  But what kind of a Father is He?
He is the kind of Father who puts a GPS on all of His children.  "I always feel like someone is watching me" (by Michael Jackson)  is true.  He is. 
Maybe I was pretty good at wearing my parents down until they finally threw up their hands and said; "OK you can go to the Mall on Friday night!"  But you can't wear God down.  He has all of the time and patience in the world.
He "Ain't nothin' but a Hound Dog" (Elvis) and when He promised to "Never, never, never leave you or forsake you" (Jesus) that was a promise that might feel like a threat sometimes.
He is the Hound of Heaven.
The Hound of Heaven
My Paraphrase of The Hound of Heaven Sister Monica

I ran away from God. He followed me peacefully and swiftly, yet unhurriedly. He told me, "all people who betray you, betray Me."
I kept trying to get away from God. Though I knew of His love for me, I feared that if I had Him, I would have to give up everything else. I kept running across the ends of the universe. I wanted to hide from this tremendous Lover. I even tried to hide in the sky. I tried to tempt the God's servants to help me hide from God, but they were on His side. I realized my own sinfulness next to their faithfulness. So I tried to find another fast way to flee from God. I clung to the wind. But no matter where the wind took me, God continued to follow, peacefully and swiftly, yet unhurriedly. He said, "Nothing shelters you that will not shelter me."

So then I turned to the beauty of nature to find my happiness. I enjoyed sharing my experiences of happiness and sadness and all the other emotions with nature. But even this experience of nature could not ease my human pain. I cried to Heaven but there was a language barrier. I speak through sound. Heaven speaks through silence. Nature cannot satisfy my thirst. I am thirsty still. God continues to follow, peacefully and swiftly, yet unhurriedly. He said, "Nothing contents you that doesn't content me."

I have nothing left that will allow me to exist without God in my life, and I have been driven to my knees. I am at rock bottom. I tried everything. I wait for the love of God. Everything else, all other dreams, have failed. The earth is overloaded with heavy sadness. God, must you break me down before you can use me for Your glory? My heart is broken. What is to happen?

Everything is bitter, yet now and then a trumpet sounds. The trumpet sounds from Heaven, but not before the death and resurrection of Christ. God, must Your glory come from this rotten death? Now from this long pursuit of happiness comes God. God says, "You keep running from Me. This is strange. Why do you run from Me? I love you. You didn't do anything to merit My love. Human love is different from My love. For human love you need merit. I love you no matter what you do because I Am Love. I have prepared a place for you with all of the desires of your heart. I am what you have been seeking this whole time.

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