Repertoire

My girlfriend  and I have been e-mailing some trash talk...

She said:
Call, and I'll tell you about how I thought I would sneak into the grocery store today for just one thing (and of course since it was just one thing I thought that also meant I would be invisible to the naked eye) and ran into half the town in a shirt covered in mustard and olive oil and my work in the yard pants that are not only filthy but 2 sizes too big. Please bring on the Barcalounger. I'm ready.
 I said:

Two questions:
1. Did you run into an old boy friend?
2. Did you have on bedroom slippers?
If not you are NOT Queen for a Day and do not get the cheap washer or dryer.
 She said:

To answer question #1, although I do have an old boyfriend living in town(!), I did not run into him. However, I did run into a younger male friend of ours who is sooo good looking that  I blush the ENTIRE time I talk to him. Very smooth I know. He was probably worse case scenario boyfriend or not. I say I get this one. Question #2, I did not have on bedroom slippers (although I have worn them before to to the grocery), but you have to remember the filthy food covered shirt and the absolutely gigantic and also filthy pants...much more noticeable than whatever I had on my feet. I will start clearing out space for the washer and dryer.
 I shot right back:

Maaaybe a scratch and dent from Sears but that is about all you can hope for and yes, these slippers would have kicked you through the goal post for a front loader combo.

They are in my closet right now. My CBS core group gave them to me one Christmas. Very comfortable and tempting to wear........................

 #3. Mercy is not my spiritual gift so I don't feel sorry for anyone who owns a pair of pants two sizes too large.
#4. There is a call-in deal today on a pleather recliner  on that radio channel where the say the letters of the station like it is one big new alphabet letter. Call.